You know when you accidentally bite the inside of your cheek and then for the next week you keep biting the same spot because you are being too cautious of doing it again and it just gets worse and worse? My life is one big accidental cheek bite.
I am constantly dropping things, smashing into tables, spilling drinks, breaking glasses. I am never without at least two large bruises on my legs from hitting them into things. Yesterday I dropped a whole packet of crackers down the stairs and Zane just looked at me with absolutely no surprise. Two weeks ago I somehow managed to hit my shin on the dashboard of my car (god knows how) and then I proceeded to hit my leg again, in exactly the same way, twice. I literally had three egg-shaped purple bruises on my left leg. Today, after saying to my self “Don’t worry, your laptop is perfectly balanced on the arm of the couch so it can reach the charger, it won’t fall!” I proceeded to start painting one of my nails, and before I had even finished my thumb, I had knocked my laptop off the couch onto the tiled floor. Let’s just say my upcoming pay check is going to take a hit, and that I am struggling to see the screen as I type this. This year, I proceeded to drop my iPhone 6 and get it fixed, then within the week smash the screen all over again, and then I basically just gave up, until the glass was falling off the screen into my ear and I really had to buy a new phone. It was becoming a health hazard. Sometimes I would just throw it at the floor when it froze, and it would start working all over again. But I decided this method wasn’t exactly ideal.
I now invite you to take a moment of silence and bow your head in pity for me.
But seriously, am I the only person that this stuff happens too? Sometimes it absolutely feels like it. I am maybe the most clumsy, clunky person in the entire world. I have no control over any of my limbs - they just have minds of their own. Sometimes in the middle of the night I wake up and half of my body is numb. Literally, it is like I have a ministroke. I then proceed to spend the next five minutes using the other half of my body to try and identify that yes, that is your right hand, not a strangers, and then use my left hand to flap my right side around until I regain feeling, which normally results in my right side hitting a wall, the bed, my head, or all three. I am the definition of tragic.
However, at the end of the day, despite cheek bite after cheek bite, I somehow continue to move forth. Take today for example. I’m looking at a bill upward of $500 to fix this laptop screen, and of course, this would fall two days before the biggest pay check I’ve received in months that I was hoping to save up. After I dropped my laptop, I proceeded to sink half a packet of dark chocolate Malteasers (not exactly vegan, but I was feeling very sorry for myself), the ends of a chip packet, and neglect my planned out day of blogging to watch episode after episode of Offspring and then proceed to take a long nap. Productive, I know. But I was wallowing. Although, through all of this, I came to a realisation.
Whilst watching Offspring, over the spread of four or so episodes, I saw two marriage breakups, adultery, a family crisis, and a black eye. Excellent television if I do say so myself. Despite the dramatisation of it all, and despite the fact that it is obviously all fiction, I thought to myself - why get upset over a broken laptop screen? Over a dropped box of crackers? Over a bruised knee? Life could be way, way worse. Compared to all of the horrible situations and problems that other people endure on a day to day basis, life is looking pretty damn good for me.
So I battle on with these small minute problems in my very sheltered, privileged world. These problems actually make me so grateful for the life I have, rather than the opposite. So when life gives you lemons, pardon the cliche, but you’ve just gotta squeeze the living daylights out of them and make the best lemonade you can.